Great Men of Meat: Second Serving

When I get the funding to build the Gary Mustard Meatseum, Duncan Steel will get his own wing.

This is Duncan's story:

School was not for Duncan. He was vehemeatly passionate about meat and art, which left little room in his stomach, heart, and mind for the monotonous tutelage and bland grub of the American School System. In the 7th grade, despite his mother's pleas, Duncan dropped out of school and into butcher apprenticeship. From the start Duncan showed a propensity for the carving craft, but his artistic tendoncies led him to trouble. With raw meaterials at his fingertips and his master's back turned, Duncan took to sculpting. At first he would only take the occasional scrap but as his talent grew, so did the need for more meaterials. Duncan's banishment from butchery and birth as the Michelangelo of meat took place on the very same day. On the morning of August 12th, 1971, Duncan was caught stealing a fillet which was meant to be the final piece of an automeatbile he had been working on. His master, enraged, dismissed him indefinitely. Duncan, dazed distraught and disheveled, slumped down on a park bench, his unfinished, shame riddled, automeatbile by his side. While Duncan sat introspectively, fate was working. At 4:04 pm, while on a jog at the request of his wife, Donald J. Tyson tripped over a protruding root and fell thunderously. Gravity's assault on Tyson at 4:04 was monumeatal for a number of reasons: it began Don Tyson's staunch abstinence from running of any kind, it happened directly in front of Duncan Steel and, most importantly, Donald J. Tyson was CEO of Tyson Foods. Don's introduction to the ground shook Duncan from his brooding and brought him to his feet. As Duncan helped Don (who only suffered minor scrapes and bruises) to his feet, Don spotted the incomplete automeatbile on the bench. Don, ever the meat lover and curious cat, inquired about the atypical sculpture. Duncan, in an uncontrollable verbal spew, told Don everything. Donald touched by the teen's enthusiasm and impressed by his artistic vision (as well as still a bit flustered from his tumble and Duncan's unfiltered admissions), revealed his lofty job title and offered Duncan access to Tyson Food's scraps. With this kind gesture Donald J. Tyson became the first, and to my knowledge only, meat patron and Duncan Steel was on his way to sculptor stardom. Duncan Steel is the Donatello of our generation, a gift to us all.

Donald J. Tyson probably deserves mention in my Meatseum but that will have to wait for another time.

Stay calm and meat on.