Olive Branch or Bacon Taco?

A youthful God shouted 10 heavenly commandments down the slopes of Mount Sinai to an eagerly awaiting Moses. Moses took this handful of holy directions and disseminated them among the people of earth but it seems we may not have taken them to heart.

Earlier this week a somewhat frazzled God revealed one succinct message to me. God told me to be a vessel for peace in the world. This devout memo could mean only one thing; God needed me to perfect the bacon breakfast taco. The pressure was immense and my nerves were wound tight but I knew I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, let the big man upstairs down. I also knew that despite my extensive meatical knowledge, I would need help. I picked up the meat phone and called together my A(pplewood smoked bacon) Team. Richard Griddlesizzle, Mary “NotMatt” LeBlanc and the angelic tigress, Sunshine Lyon, came running. With the super squad assembled and ingredients at the ready we set about fabricating a breakfast taco so great that global harmony would be an inevitable output.

As all positive change seems to begin, we started by frying copious amounts of bacon.

While Griddlesizzle monitored our precious pork, Sunshine Lyon took to finely dicing red onions, tomatoes, cilantro, jalapeños and avocado. Sunshine folded secret spices into her chopped vegetable medley, creating a pico de gallo that brought a subtle grin to our watchful God’s holy face. With pico de galloed, bacon singing sweetly and Mary “NotMatt” LeBlanc emanating positive vibes, we moved on to crafting a succulent sour cream sauce. Sunshine Lyon was feeling confident and took the lead. She melded cilantro, lime blood, avocado, hot sauce, angel tears and the most sour of cream into a concoction worthy of being served at the last supper. All that was left was to assemble the bacon taco and to turn raw eggs in a yum-yum scramble. Richard and I took to weaving bacon while Sunshine and “NotMatt” LeBlanc tackled the scrambling process. All the elements were complete. All the elements were beautiful. I took the bacon shell and with the touch of an angel I deftly stocked it first with sour cream sauce, followed quickly by pico and eggs.  I stepped back and admired the team’s work. A tear began to well up in the corner of my eye. We had done it. Yahweh’s approving energy beamed down at us.

I could feel peace spreading and I hadn’t even taken my first bite. As fork approached mouth global tranquility was a buzz in the atmosphere. Flavor and serenity exploded on contact. If you don’t believe me, if you think that a bacon breakfast taco could never truly bring about world peace, just look at the facts.  A handful of days ago, in an act of peace taco anticipation, Iran democratically elected a moderate president. Then, yesterday, the United States Supreme Court deemed the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional. Peace is spreading; you just wait. The bacon breakfast taco heals all wounds. The bacon breakfast taco is the olive branch's pumped up cousin.

Peace, Love and Bacon.