Out of Left Field

Good afternoon my meaty friends,

Do you like surprises?
I do and I don't care if you don't.
I love the way a juicy surprise creeps up on you, blinds you with an LED light, and then pulls your pants down. It's shocking, exhilarating and emotionally toughening (although my previously used blinding/pantsing analogy might not be).

Anyhoo, without further ado, allow me to unsettle you with the unexpected.

I LOVE VEGETABLES.

There, I said it. It feels good to get that off my chest, it has been weighing heavy.

I can hear your pronounced gasps, horrified shrieks and dumbfounded moans leeking through my computer but olive you guys just need to calm down. Before you artichoke me out, at least hear me out. Meat holds a special place in my heart, more specifically as a fatty buildup that calls the pulmonary artery home. In order to counteract the blood constricting affects of a meat bloggers diet, I turn to vegetables to help flush away the plague. Thus, for the sake of mi corazón, lettuce take a short break from ordinary onslaught of animal product puns to appreciate the understated impact of our plant based allies.

I know I must be coming across as a bit of a Beanedict Arnold but I feel that it is high time to squash the beef between pumpkin and pork. Cow, Pig and Chicken are my all-time flavor Hall of Famers but sometimes it's nice to let someone else be the bell pepper of the culinary ball. So just this once, lets turnip the volume and shout to the heavens, "All kale the Vegetable King!"

Lentil next time, I hope you can appreciate that vegetable's are rad-ish!

Thank you for accommeatdating this detour through the vegetable patch. I promise that I will be back to my meaty ways next week but before I go, here's one last veggie-pun:

Favorite NFL Draft Prospect - Manti Tomato