BuffaWoah!!!!!

'ello comRADs, please allow me to tell you a story.

While I meatandered through Fred Meyer's deli isle I stumbled upon a staple point of American development. While I stared at my eventual dinner, my mind wandered to a time of wagon wheels, cholera and a relentless westward trail. Mighty buffalo grazed aimlessly through my Oregon bound imagination until a careless cart-wielder bumped me back into a prepackaged reality. Right there, arms reach away, were neatly parceled portions of the Great American Buffalo. With my uncalloused hands I procured a proper serving, placing it gently in my grocery wagon. Despite my reliance on modern conveniences, there is something less than satisfying about the ease with which we purchase our food. The thrill of the hunt has become a bit lost on us...

Nonetheless, I drove home. The average covered wagon covered a bit less than 9 miles in a day; I went close to 4 miles in less than 10 minutes. My how times have changed, yet one constant holds true. Buffalo meat tastes ameatzing, thus, for your sake, I must return to my story. 

With my hunting and gathering effortlessly completed, I set about rendering a fine fire using only my primitive tools. Surprisingly, instant light BBQ coals really do work and within no time I had a first-rate cooking area prepared. With my buffalo expertly marimeated and still no sign of cholera, I commenced the positioning ceremony. In barbecuing, as in real estate and body hair, location is everything. 

Your pesky peepers may be asking, "Gary Mustard! What are those strange orbs rainbowing around that succulent hunk of buffalo?" Well, Nosey Nancy, those are the perfect accompaniment to the predominant meat of the Wild West. Street Name: White Mushrooms. I allowed the tandem to grill in peace until the time was just right. Then, with the swiftness of the common cold in daycare, I plated my dinner. With a tall glass of milk, plenty of sunlight and absolutely no fear of attack, my dinner was ready for my enjoyment, and, although I may have feasted with the furry of a weary trail traveler, the thrill of adventure seemed to be missing from my Wild West banquet... 

Bonus Image!